


Pins and Needles

by SilenceIsGolden15



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo 2k19 [17]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Autistic Keith (Voltron), Autistic Pidge | Katie Holt, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Gen, Prompt: Sensory Overload, Sensory Overload, Space Mall (Voltron), Stimming, Worried Shiro (Voltron), meltdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:53:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24480124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilenceIsGolden15/pseuds/SilenceIsGolden15
Summary: Keith should've just stayed home.
Relationships: Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Shiro (Voltron)
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo 2k19 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554010
Comments: 11
Kudos: 329
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Pins and Needles

**Author's Note:**

> Hi welcome to another episode of "Keith is autistic and I don't make the rules", please enjoy

They didn’t have much free time on Team Voltron, but whenever they did, Coran, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge all insisted on going back to the space mall. 

Coran wanted to browse the Unilu shops for more remnants of Altea. Pidge wanted to check for more video games. Hunk always met up with Sal to teach him more recipes. Lance just liked doing something not life threatening for a few hours. 

Personally, Keith didn’t see the appeal. He avoided it after their first trip, not keen on running into the guy who tried to take his knife, and normally Shiro and Allura also skipped the excursions. Allura still wanted something sparkly, but “down time” for the rest of them often meant “planning time” for the two of them. 

But today was different. Today was, as Lance insisted on calling it, a family field trip. 

“Must we, Coran?” asked Allura, sounding uncharacteristically whiny as she was shuffled towards the shuttle along with the others. “Shiro and I really should go over the files Kolivan sent us--”

“I won’t hear anymore about it,” proclaimed Coran. “I’ve found you asleep at the podium one too many times, Princess. We’re all due a break.”

“But Coran…”

Shiro huffed out an amused breath. When Keith looked up he found a soft smile on Shiro’s face; a soft, relieved smile. 

“What?” He hadn’t seen Shiro smile like that in weeks. 

“Nothing.” Shiro shrugged, but didn’t drop the smile. “It’s just nice.” He didn’t specify, but he didn’t need to. Keith smiled back, trying his best to mask the apprehension growing in his gut-- his first trip to the space mall hadn’t been great, and he doubted this one would be any different. But for Shiro’s sake he kept his mouth shut and climbed into the shuttle. 

This time Allura got shotgun by royal right, which meant all five paladins were crammed into the cargo bay. And, as usual, Lance couldn’t shut up to save his life. 

“I wanna explore the east wing today,” he was saying, fidgeting in his seat. “I’m still not convinced that there isn’t a nail salon somewhere. The place is massive, there’s gotta be something like it somewhere. Hopefully it’s not too expensive. Defender of the Universe isn’t the most well paying job ever, which it really should be, but on the other hand we are kinda fugitives on the run, which is an interesting idea when you think about it, cause the Castle is super bougie and all, but--”

He gave no indication as to who he was actually talking to, but Hunk listened and gave understanding hums every once in a while. Pidge was nodding along absently as she fiddled with her tablet. Shiro didn’t look like he was paying attention, but he was relaxed, at least.

He tried not to show it, but Keith was starting to feel a little twitchy. Lance always babbled when he was excited or nervous, and Keith knew from previous experience that eventually he’d start feeling the urge to punch him just to make him shut up. But he wasn’t quite there. Yet. 

After a shuttle ride that was probably only half a varga long but felt like an eternity, the vehicle shuddered to a stop. Lance was immediately on his feet and rushing out, calling an excited, “Come on, guys!” back at them. 

Hunk and Pidge were next, murmuring back and forth about the parts they were trying to find for their next project. Then Keith and Shiro. Shiro looked around in obvious curiosity, never having been to the space mall before, and Keith followed along behind as Coran locked the shuttle into its parking place. 

“Is it usually this busy?” Shiro asked as they went up the ramp into the mall itself. 

“I don’t know,” Keith responded. He folded his arms and held them close to his chest, trying not to be too obvious about how he was avoiding contact with the crowd around them. “I only came the one time.”

Shiro nodded and didn’t say anything else, which was a relief. Metal walls really amplified sound, and the footsteps of so many people underscoring the bubble of a dozen different alien languages had Keith hunching his shoulders up to his ears. He knew what this feeling meant-- the tense muscles, tight chest, prickly skin-- but he ground his teeth and ignored it. 

This was the one time everyone got to relax. He wasn’t about to ruin it. 

The doors at the end of the tunnel whooshed open accompanied by a burst of cool air that wasn’t too different from buildings on Earth. Then the whole group came to a surprised stop. 

“Uhhh… what’s going on here?” Pidge asked with a raised eyebrow. “Is it space Black Friday or something?”

For a moment no one answered. They were all too busy staring at the entrance hall, packed shoulder to shoulder with dozens of aliens. They milled about, going in and out of stores and going about their business, the only unusual thing being the sheer volume of people. 

The sound hit Keith like a brick wall. His arms jerked; he only barely resisted the urge to slap his hands over his ears. 

“There must be a big sale or something,” Lance said, then turned to Allura with a grin. “Perfect time to pick up something shiny, right?”

“Something sparkly,” she corrected, but she was smiling, and she allowed Lance to take her hand and start pulling her into the crowd. 

“Hey, be careful you two!” Coran shouted after them. “And meet back here in a varga, you hear me?”

If they gave any answer, it was inaudible over the throng. 

“Well lads,” Coran said as he turned to them, “have fun, enjoy yourselves, don’t blow anything up. I have an Unilu to bargain with.” He marched off, and Shiro chuckled under his breath. 

“Don’t know what he expects,” Keith muttered, “Where would we even get explosives?”

Shiro gave him a crooked smile. “I mean, you did blow up Garrison property.” 

“I’m fairly certain Coran doesn’t know about that.”

Shiro laughed and clapped a hand on Keith’s shoulder. Keith jolted, pins and needles rolling down his arm, but he didn’t pull away. Touch was rare, and he had to take what he could get, even when it felt bad. 

“Alright, you heard the man. Where should we go first?”

Keith shrugged, and Shiro let his hand fall. “I don’t know, I’ve only been here once, and I didn’t do all that much.”

“Ok, well, let’s wander a bit. We’ll find something to do.” He started to move, shouldering his way into the crowd, and with a tight throat, Keith followed. 

Immediately he knew that he’d made a mistake.

Situations like these hadn’t often come up since he left the Garrison (living alone in the desert will do that), but now he was remembering what it felt like to be properly surrounded, no sky in sight, no Red to run to if he needed a break, and he wished he’d just sucked it up and asked to stay in the Castle. 

Well, it was too late to have regrets. Keith tried to pin his focus to Shiro’s back, following the black vest as best he could. He kept his shoulders hunched in, away from the other people, and from its position tucked inside his opposite elbow, his right thumb rubbed anxiously over his knuckles. 

It was hot. All of those bodies shoved together. His shoulders still scraped against others despite his efforts, and he had no idea where Shiro was heading. 

Shiro increased his pace just for a moment to fit through an opening, leaving just enough space for someone to slip between them; some kind of alien, turquoise blue. 

Keith balked in surprise. His hands came up, instinctively trying to reach out for Shiro, but he stopped them halfway. The alien glanced at him with four yellow eyes that widened in alarm before he got out of Keith’s way. 

It only took a couple of quick steps to catch up with Shiro, but already Keith was feeling frazzled. He knew how he looked, rushing through a crowd with a furrowed brow and clenched fists. So he moved his hands to his neck and tangled his fingers in his hair. Anything to keep people from thinking he was about to hit them. 

The space mall was gigantic. It would’ve taken a ridiculous number of people to fill the whole space, and an even more ridiculous reason to get them all here. Maybe Pidge was right about it being the alien equivalent of Black Friday. 

The longer they were in the crowd the more manic Keith’s thoughts became as he desperately tried to distract himself from the static building in his chest. 

_ Wonder what they would call it. Empire Appreciation day? Does Zarkon come up with this kind of thing, or is there a Galra Master of Propaganda?  _

A sudden change in the air jerked Keith from his thoughts. It took him a few seconds to recognize it was a smell-- the unfamiliar smell of dozens of alien foods. They were walking past the food court. Keith stopped grinding his teeth long enough to draw in a ragged breath. 

God, smells were the worst. He never felt like he could breathe when the air became so heavy with scent particles. 

Shiro stopped, so abruptly that Keith bumped into his back. It was even worse standing still, more people bumped and jostled them as they went around, and he felt like they were rubbing balloons all over him, building the charge. 

“Are you hungry?” said Shiro loudly into his ear. “We can grab something.”

With his breath hitching in his throat, all Keith could manage was a shake of the head. He was already overloading-- strange flavors and textures would only make it worse. 

He couldn’t make himself look at Shiro’s face, but he just shrugged and said, “Ok, let’s keep going,” and Keith silently followed. 

They walked for a while longer. Keith stayed focused on following Shiro as much as he could. Every so often Shiro would stop to look into a window and Keith would stand beside him, trying not to prickle too obviously when people brushed past them. 

At some point Shiro stopped for longer. When Keith made himself look up, he found Shiro with an expression of bemusement on his face. After blinking away the bright lights, Keith realized which store they were at. 

“What the…”

“This is that Earth store Pidge told you about,” Keith explained after clearing his throat. 

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Where they got Kaltenecker?”

Keith nodded. “Doesn’t seem to get many customers.”

“Hmmm.” Shiro turned back to the window. After a moment or two, he headed for the door. 

It was much quieter inside-- and much less crowded, practically deserted. Keith’s ears buzzed. He slowly uncurled his fingers from his hair, flexing them to soothe the constricted joints, and let out a slightly deeper breath. This was his chance to get a break. 

“Hello there!”

Keith’s skin rippled with goosebumps. He and Shiro turned to find the owner, the very stereotypical Area 51 alien, standing behind them. Keith wasn’t sure how he managed it with pitch black eyes, but they almost seemed to sparkle hopefully. 

“Looking to buy?”

“No,” Shiro answered. “Just looking.”

“Oh.” The alien sounded disappointed. “Well… Let me know if you change your mind.”

He wandered away, leaving them to peruse the shelves of random bits and pieces from Earth. It was jarring to see; there were old game consoles like Pidge’s next to cheap plastic tea cups, toilet brushes, various computer and engine parts, even blades from ceiling fans. 

“This is… uh… quite a collection,” Shiro said. “Guess that explains why the Galra haven’t bothered with Earth yet. They don’t seem to see it as particularly valuable.”

“Yeah, guess so.”

A thump from behind made Keith jump. It was just the alien manager, closing the door to a back room after retrieving a wheeled cart stacked with boxes. Which would have been fine, if the wheels on the damn thing hadn’t let out the most horrendous screech Keith had ever heard. 

He couldn’t control his reaction. He recoiled from the sound like a turtle retreating into its shell, his arm jerking back up towards his head, and a small, wounded sound punching out of his throat. 

Beside him Shiro sucked in a quick breath through his teeth. But before he could say anything the offending wheel completed its revolution and let out another squeal, sending Keith back to two hands over his ears. 

“Keith? Hey, let’s go find another store.”

“Mnh.” It took Keith a second to force words past his lips. “Mn, no-- no, it’s--” The wheels  _ screeched  _ and he shook all the way down to his toes. “It’s ok, you stay h-here, I’m just-- I’m just gonna go to the--”  _ Screech.  _ Keith’s muscles ached when he tensed again. “The bathroom.” Without waiting for an answer he turned and left the store, still shivering from the terrible sound. 

He couldn’t take his hands away once he was in the crowd. He kept them clamped over his ears and his eyes on his feet, going in any direction there were spaces between the bodies. He couldn’t even remember where the bathrooms were. He just kept going until he spotted it-- a shadow on the floor, a dark hallway devoid of any life. 

By the time he made it there he was hyperventilating. It was a short hallway, containing only one door, and Keith staggered to the end of it before collapsing. 

The floor was cold. The noise of the crowd reached its fingers towards him and the light followed. Keith buried his face in his knees and his fingers in his hair, the steady pressure-pain and the rapid rocking of his body barely keeping him from unraveling. 

He tried to think. Something along the lines of  _ pull it together, don’t ruin this for Shiro, don’t draw attention to yourself,  _ but the static, the tension, the pain-- it was overwhelming. He couldn’t breathe. He gasped for air as his eyes burned with tears he couldn’t bear to let fall. 

Something near him made a whooshing sound. Keith curled into a tighter ball. There was a thump, then a second, and a third, and then-- 

“What do we have here?”

The voice was much too close to him. Keith turned away with a muffled sound of protest, only for the footsteps to come even closer. 

“Hey, I recognize you! You’re one of them space pirates!” 

Keith bit his tongue and pulled his hair harder. The voice was grating, grinding to the point of pain. 

Then the owner of the voice grabbed him, and the touch  _ seared.  _

A strangled breath left his throat. He wanted to scream, he couldn’t-- couldn’t voice his pain. He never could. 

The man pulled on his arm, forcing Keith to rise even as he tried to resist, every inch of his skin burning and prickling and stabbing into him and he couldn’t breathe _ \--  _

“You found him!” 

The hands paused long enough for Keith to jerk away. His shoulder collided with the wall, which became the only reason he was able to stay upright as the voices continued around him. 

“What did you say?” asked the gruff voice. 

“You found him, you found my brother, thank God.” The other voice came closer, but blessedly didn’t touch him. He had his eyes squeezed shut too tightly to see who it was and the neurons in his brain were snapping and sparking instead of connecting. 

“Your brother?” The gruff voice sounded doubtful, but the second responded with just as much enthusiasm as before. 

“I’ve been looking for him everywhere, you have no idea how worried I was. Thank you so much.”

Something grabbed Keith’s sleeve, carefully placed so that the hand didn’t touch his arm. 

“Come on, we need to be getting back.”

When the person pulled, Keith followed the pressure. He’d finally recognized the voice. Shiro. But when he pulled Keith back out into the crowd, he very nearly shut down again, a small, “Mn,” escaping his lips. 

“I know,” Shiro said, quietly but not so quiet that it would make Keith bristle. “Just a little longer, we’re almost out.”

True to his word, three minutes later they were passing through the entrance doors, going back down the ramp. Keith opened his mouth, eager to finally get a decent breath, only to choke on the scent of tar and alien rocket fuel. 

“It’s ok, the shuttle’s right here.” There was a high pitched beep that made him cringe, then the door opened and Shiro took him into the cargo bay, sitting him down in the same place he’d been sitting when they arrived. The metal was cold, almost stinging, but the quiet more than made up for it. 

He let out a sigh of relief. He heard the metal creak as Shiro sat beside him. “Is it alright if I--?” he asked, but Keith turned away before he could finish and he let the question trail off. 

For the next however long they sat in silence. Keith focused on the sound of his breath, able to count the inhales and exhales now that there was room in his brain not being filled by sensation. Gradually his exhales stopped shuddering out of his throat. The tears stopped running down his cheeks. The tension released from his shoulders and his fingers uncurled from his hair. 

Only then did he open his eyes. 

His surroundings were blurry and the lights stung, but only a little bit. Enough that he could bear it. 

“Hey, you feeling better?”

Keith managed a nod, and Shiro smiled. 

“Good. Was that the security guard Lance keeps going on about?”

“Mhm.”

“I see why you guys don’t like him.”

Finally Keith was able to look in Shiro’s general direction. He couldn’t make his eyes go all the way to his face, but after years of seeing it he could recognize Shiro’s concerned body language. His throat tightened, but he forced up the words he needed. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Keith,” Shiro sighed. “You know you don’t have to be sorry.” 

Part of him knew, but the larger part had learned to associate meltdowns with consequences, and without the words available to him, he settled for leaving his elbows on his knees and looking into a far corner. 

Shiro didn’t say anything else. He let Keith decompress in the silence, allowing his presence to be the reassurance he knew Keith needed without making things worse. 

They sat that way until Keith could hear Lance’s voice outside the shuttle. He closed his eyes and ground his teeth, preparing to hold himself together with nails in his palms until they got back to the Castle, but to his surprise the group filed in silently. Lance and Hunk were both carrying bags that rustled as they sat, but otherwise no one made a sound. 

Keith’s cheeks burned. Shiro must’ve pinged them at some point-- everyone knew. 

They knew, that he had a breakdown in the mall like a fucking toddler, and he’d never be able to live it down. 

He didn’t look up for the entire shuttle ride, and when it finally jerked to a stop in the Castle’s hangar, he waited until the others left before moving even an inch.

Shiro was waiting for him. “What do you need?” he asked. 

Keith sighed and rubbed his forehead. He had a headache from all the noise and tension, and his body felt heavier than lead. 

“I just wanna go to my room,” mumbled Keith. It took an inordinate amount of effort for even that many words, so when Shiro asked permission to walk him to his room, he just nodded. 

“Are you alright if I talk?” Shiro asked as they walked. Keith nodded again, so he continued. “You know the others don’t think any less of you, right?” 

Keith folded his arms and didn’t respond. 

“Hey, they already knew you prefer quiet and don’t like crowds. It’s no different than asking them to be quiet when I’m sleeping or Allura has a headache.”

He rolled his shoulders and looked away. He and Shiro had had this conversation a thousand times, but it never made the shame go away any faster. 

Fortunately, Shiro decided to quit while he was ahead and didn’t say anything more. Unfortunately, when they turned down the last hallway to the bunks, there was a figure waiting by Keith’s door. A figure belonging to the Princess. 

Keith’s muscles ached as he tensed. Allura always wanted the Paladins to act professional in public; even if they were technically undercover, he doubted that expectation had changed. 

But when the Princess approached, what came out of her mouth wasn’t a reprimand. 

Instead she said, in a soft voice, “Keith, did Coran ever show you how to dim the lights in your bunk?”

Taken by surprise, all Keith could think to do was shake his head no. 

“Would you like me to show you?” 

For a moment panic stole the air from his lungs. Allura was never this nice, especially not to him. What if it was a trick, or a way to get him alone so she could tell him off, or--

His eyes fell on Shiro, and some of the anxiety loosened. He was smiling, and that was enough for Keith to let Allura into his room. 

He spent the rest of the night there with the lights set to low and three blankets stacked on top of him. None of the others disturbed him, not even the mice. 

The next morning Pidge strode loudly into the dining room and set her bowl beside Keiths with a pointed thump. 

“Yeah?” he said, and she twisted her mouth at him as she sat. 

“You probably missed it,” she began, “Since you’re always training, but whenever we go to the space mall I always come back early.”

“Yeah?” Keith repeated. He shoved another spoonful of goo into his mouth. “Why?”

Pidge punched his shoulder, but it was less of a punch and more of a shove with her fist. “The same reason you left yesterday, you dweeb.” 

Keith immediately looked down, cheeks flushing, but Pidge just gave a fond chuckle. 

“Next time,” she bumped him with her elbow, “just say something.”

A few minutes later, when he was finally able to look at her face, it was completely and utterly sincere. 


End file.
